All Boy

He is all boy, this child of mine. 

He sleeps stretched long in my arms. Little fingers twitching in his sleep as he dreams of what I can only imagine. He breathes deep and whimpers soft as his mind entertains his sleep. Occasionally you hear quiet sucking as he works the pacifier in his mouth. And in these moments I fall in love all over again.

The time is so long and yet so incredibly short. How is he over four months old? He has learned to roll over and grab his feet. He thinks blowing spit bubbles is the new funniest trick he can do. He is almost sitting up by himself, and he grabs at my spoon while I eat my morning yogurt…ready to explore another new facet of life. 

  
I can already glance into my future and see hours of outside play. I can see muddy knees and dirt-caked fingernails. I am not ignorant. I know that while those days are many months away, they are also right around the corner.

Time plays tricks like that. 

I dance with this baby boy in my living room and know that tomorrow I will dance with him at his wedding. And while I long to see the kind of man he becomes, I also ache to keep these tiny precious hands forever wrapped around my own. 

He is all boy, this child of mine. He kicks and plays and squeals and his brow scrunches up hard as he tries to figure out how to crawl. I think he will be an early walker. He hates to be confined, even now. This man-child will grow and rail against what confines him. He will be a world-changer….asking questions and seeking to make the wrongs of this world right. He won’t take no for an answer; I can already see that.

But for now? For now he sleeps. He sleeps hard in my arms and I thank the Lord for his tiny face and tiny fingers that will only stay tiny for just so long. 

He is all boy. And while time will see him grow tall and strong, he will always be my little boy. 

  

April 2nd

Right now my most favorite thing about Facebook is the “see your memories” feature. I really love clicking that every day and seeing what was happening in my life on this day in history. Sometimes I read status updates and they remind me of great memories or life events. Other times I’m wondering why I was so weird last year. Do I still post weird things like that?? {yes.} But I don’t need Facebook to forever remember the importance of April 1st and 2nd in my life.

On this day last year, I bought a pregnancy test. I had wondered for a few days if I might be pregnant. I finally caved in and bought a test. I was going to take it when I got home, but then realized that I was probably dooming myself by taking a pregnancy test on April Fool’s Day, so I took it the next morning on April 2nd instead.

And my life has never been the same.

A year ago tomorrow was when we first found out about our miracle baby. I was home alone, getting ready to pack up my bags and head to Savannah. Roman had been away for ten days on a work trip and I was going to pick him up and then we were spending that Easter weekend together on the beach.

Let me tell you, the drive to Savannah from Columbus is long enough. But when you’ve just found out you’re pregnant and you’re on your way to tell your husband who you haven’t seen in ten days?? That drive is an eternity long, I swear.

On this day in history, I shouted at the Lord for why this was happening. I was so angry because I just knew my body was playing tricks on me. I felt like a fool for even buying a test and having any hope of it being positive. That next morning I would joyfully eat those words. I would run around my house for an hour shouting and crying and jumping up and down. Wow, how life can change in an instant.

We spent this weekend last year walking on the beach, giggling over how our lives had changed and figuring out how we would share the news with our families.

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Today is just a regular day. Jackson is going to be four months old next week {how is this even possible?!!??} He is either teething or going through a major growth spurt because this week has been filled with lots of tears and puking and not-sleeping. But I won’t complain for one second because I am fully aware of how much richer my life is today compared to 12 months ago.

The Lord is faithful. He truly does turn our sorrows into joy. He can still take what is dead and make it live.

Friends, I hope you all had a fantastic Easter weekend last week. I also hope none of you were pranked too bad today.  😉  But I truly truly sincerely hope that you remember every day that the Lord is good and His mercies are never-ending. Have a wonderful weekend, sweet friends. We are going to spend it celebrating.  😀

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